Pelosi Blocks Trump’s Nobel Prize Nomination


It is nearing the end of the year, and along with a Presidential election, there is a list of other upcoming events.  Award shows.  “Best of” lists.  “Rocktober.”  But it’s also he season for the announcement of nominees for Nobel prizes, the most honored and respected awards in the world.

Senator Lindsey Graham’s “Biscuit Buns” ribbon being a close second.

However, the process ran into a snag this year as Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi got word that one choice for the venerable Peace prize was none other than President Donald Trump for his accidental luck in the field of not starting World War 3.  Yet.

House Assistant Speaker Sandy Batt explained that the Speaker Proper made a decision to remove any sort of reward or recognition for the President until he is replaced in January.

“Mrs. Pelosi feels that the day a complete incompetent dicksnap like Donald gets a Nobel prize is the day we might as well just nuke our species completely because it’s worthless.   If Trump’s cult of window lickers thinks bashing the military, intelligence agencies, and pretty much every race of human being besides white deserves a prize, they’re gonna have a real bad few years in the FEMA deprogramming camps.  Its less likely to happen than someone in the Dave Matthews Band plugging in a guitar.”

It’s even less likely than Val Kilmer nailing this audition for Marvel’s White Panther.

Pelosi intends to use her power under section 7, paragraph 4 of the Constitution to “eliminate the consideration of any executive branch member for an undeserved award.”  This is the second time such a measure has been taken after George W. Bush was prevented from completing all the punches on a Dairy Queen card to get a free banana split.

It appears that once again, Nancy Pelosi has thrown a wrench in the works of the Trump administration out of simple, apparent spite.  Perhaps if the President can manage to not go to a federal prison after next year, he can buy himself a plastic one on Wish.



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