California DMV Refuses To Register Republicans


It’s never fun to have to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles.  The long waits, the confusing forms, the seemingly non-sensical bouncing from window to window.

All of it contributes to a tedious government system of necessity that, on top of issuing driver’s licenses and dealing with legal fines, also has to contend with the very crucial job of registering voters.

Now, one particular outlet has taken what it calls an “ethical stand” by refusing to register anyone looking to aid the Republican party in Gavin Newsom’s California.

Newsom has already seduced hundreds of female voters into registering as “Gavinocrats.”

The office’s bias was discovered by Internet Pubic-Hair Jewelry saleswoman Sandy Batt, who came into the Queefer Street branch of the San Francisco DMV yesterday at approximately 8 a.m.  By noon, she had been called to the first window in order to process her voter registration form.

She says that the clerk, upon spotting the preference for the Republican party, laughed in her face, drew a crude facsimile of President Trump licking a dildo on her application, and told her: “The school for disabled adults is down the street.”

That clerk was 24-year old Linus Upcrack, who admitted to investigators that the office had decided to take a stand to “even the odds.”

“Trump is just out and publicly trying to steal an election by abusing his power and messing with the post office to cheat.  It’s not a secret.  The criminal prick is proud of it.  So, I don’t see the problem with denying his unamerican traitorous followers their idiotic vote.  Same thing, right?  If he wants to play voter suppression, let’s play.  We have five more DMV’s ready to follow suit and friends in other states ready to sign on.  Sorry trumptards.  Too bad Acorn isn’t around to help, huh?”

Coincidentally, “acorn” is the most popular nut to be rectally inserted by Senator Lindsey Graham during the holiday season.

Upcrack isn’t wrong.  Motor Vehicle departments in Oregon, Colorado, and New York have already taken notice and begun similar agendas.  One porker in Buffalo was refused his registration after scribbling his name and the word “recupliban” on the back of an empty condom wrapper.  Is this what we have to look forward to in November?  Yes.

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