Zuckerberg To Trump - ‘Facebook Is None of Your Business’


If you’ve been watching the news lately, you probably stumbled upon at least a bit of the coverage of the hearing that convened the CEOs of Google, Amazon, Facebook, and Twitter, arguably the four most powerful men in the world when it comes to controlling what information you see and don’t see on the internet.  The grilling lasted for hours, and afterwards, Mark Zuckerberg, operator and creator of Facebook, took to his own platform to warn the impeached President that he had absolutely no say in his private company’s practice and would be summarily ignored.

Notably absent from the gathering, Justice Brett Kavanaugh, major shareholder of Pornhub and JustGrabHer dot com.

The missive set the stage for what is sure to be a war of words with Trump, a dangerous undertaking for the morbidly obese handicapped leader, since his vocabulary pretty much tops out at only thirty five words.  In his first attempt at a reply to the silicon valley billionaire, Trump posted an update consisting of an ampersand, three capital “G”s, the number 788, and an upside-down banana emoticon.  Aides say the President accidentally posted the comment after dropping his phone into the anal cavity of a Russian prostitute.

Sandy Batt of Facebook’s Trumptard Response Unit told media sources that Zuckerberg viewed Trump as a nattering chimp, not worthy even to have mascara experimented on and euthanized.

“Mr. Zuckerberg feels confidently, that if he needs business advice from the all-time master of going bankrupt, he’ll ask Mr. Trump for his opinion.  Otherwise, he doesn’t believe the great orange one-term embarrassment doesn’t merit his attention.  Basically, Trump’s concerns and opinions mean about as much to the successful CEO as any Dave Matthews Band album means to the average American.  No interest whatsoever.  Mark may decide to have a modicum of mercy and allow the failed President to one day polish his balls with honey, but even that charity will have to be worked up to.”

Zuckerberg conceded: “If I’m in a good mood, I might even buy his mutant son a nice dildo to gnaw on.”

Absent from the questioning was Senator Lindsey Graham, who believes that the internet is a “witchcraft telephone machine”, and Vice President Mike Pence, who had a scheduling conflict with his appearance at a Furry convention.

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