Dolly Parton Blasts ‘Trump’s Child Cages’ on Fox


In a rare appearance for a segment on the new smash hit Fox News program Gutfeld!, country music legend Dolly Parton made it clear she values the lives of children over the politics of immigration.  Blasting the Trump administration for their “Zero Tolerance” policy of separating families at the southern border and placing children as young as infants in inadequate and badly-maintained cages, the Nashville Diva made no bones about holding the disgraced ex-leader responsible.

“It is shocking to me that this monster and anyone who still supports him can call themselves Christians.  This is not a result of Joe Biden’s policies or Barack Obama’s.  That’s how these disgusting chimps want you to think.  The policy was written and enacted by Jeff Sessions and Trump in May of 2018.  You can’t shift the blame and throw faux outrage around now.”

“Them Demonrats started them wars in Iraq! I hearded it from Sean Hannity!”

Parton was referring to the recent GOP talking point being echoed through right wing propaganda networks this past week, attempting to blame terrible children’s refugee conditions on President Biden.  Parton took host Greg Gutfeld and Fox News Distortion Expert Sandy Batt to task for the common tactic of blaming everyone else for crises that they’re responsible for.

“I see all these moronic old mental patients pretending they know anything at all saying ‘Obama did it first,’ which he didn’t.  Under him, families were temporary separated to do paperwork, then reunited.  Emphasis on the reunited.  Trump held children in squalor until they died.  But now you’re all pretending to care?  Pardon me as a southern woman, but suck every bag of dicks available.”

“Oh mah stars, is it lunch time already?”

Gutfeld seemed taken aback by the star and attempted to launch into a “comedy” routine that included puns and rhyming Biden’s name with things.

In response to the outburst, Trump’s spokespeople released a statement ensuring supporters that the failed President : “Knows that Dolly has incredible big big boobs and used to sing in a whorehouse.”

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