Being the Vice President of the United States is tiring work. Ask Mike Pence, Al Gore, or any of the other heartbeats-away who’ve held that important office.
It’s already been nearly seven months into the Biden administration’s reign, and the pace has been fast and furious. Dealing with millions of vaccinations, the border crisis mess, and a million other problems left by the nearly incomprehensible incompetence of the Trump administration has been trying, to say the least.
With many of these headaches already in the process of being attended to, Kamala Harris has decided that now would be a good time for a vacation, and the French Riviera seems to be just what the doctor ordered. White sand, escargot, and no doubt a fine, cultured lesbian or two.
Harris’s personal assistant Sandy Batt says the time away will likely amount to a bit more than a week, just enough time to detonate the plump empty noggins of American conservatives.
“Yeah, the Bagger News dummies have been blathering all month about when she’s going to visit the border like they have even the slightest idea of how diplomatic envoy trips work. Do you know some of the dipshits like Todd Starnes tried to blame her and Joe for unfilled ambassadorships? After Orangey McPlagueRat left them open for four years? Goddamn are these people stupid. No wonder Fox fired him and he looks like a withered Daschund penis.”
Fictional Harris will be spending her arrival weekend in Paris, sipping wine and shopping for exclusive fashion buys, all of which will be paid for by the tax dollars of every American with a firearm and a bong shaped like an eagle. From there, it’s off to the Riviera, which are basically the only two locations I know in France.
So a hearty “bon voyage” goes out to our exhausted VP. We hope she’s the happiest woman with shaved armpits in all of Europe for her time off.