Pelosi Tries to Stick It to Trump and Boomers in Latest Stimulus Bill

In a hastily added and heretofore unreported provision in the latest stimulus bill passed by Congress, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi decided to stick it to President Trump by attempting to force all of his U.S.-based properties to house and feed illegal aliens and refugees.

This includes his flagship property Mar A Lago in Florida as well as the Trump Hotel in Washington, DC. To add insult to injury, President Trump will be required to convert the 18th hole of his Mar A Lago estate into a refugee camp.

The order is ostensibly based on the fact that Trump properties received millions in financial aid from the previous stimulus bill, and that his immigration policies have created an unmanageable refugee crisis. Pelosi spokesperson Joe Barron explains:

“For almost three and a half years now, President Trump has been profiteering off of the American taxpayer. His Mar A Lago property alone has received tens of millions of dollars from his weekly taxpayer funded golf outings. It is high time that he repays that money, as well as contribute to mitigating the refugee crisis that he has personally created with his anti-immigration policies. He made his bed. Now he has to lay in it. This bill orders Trump to open all of his properties exclusively to migrants.”

Naturally, the Trump Organization is none too pleased about the prospect of hordes of immigrants overrunning Mar A Lago. Groundskeeper Carl Spackler elaborates:

“I don’t know what they were thinking. They want us to put porta potties on the 18th hole and convert the clubhouse into a day care center for refugees. And putting all those tents on the fairways is going to ruin the fairways for years to come. They even want us to convert President Trump’s favorite ball washer into a bidet for pregnant refugees. It’s horrible, I tell you. On the bright side, maybe all those people will finally get rid of the damn gophers.”

While it remains to be seen how this all plays out, it does not bode well for Mar A Lago or the other Trump properties on U.S. soil.