Desperate to end the greatness that has been President Donald Trump’s reign over America, the Democratic Party launched a voter registration drive designed to remove Trump from office by any non-violent means necessary.
The main criteria were that those who wanted to register must be a “citizen of Earth,” were alive at some point in their lives, and pledge to vote against our Dear Leader and the rest of the Republican Party. To put it simply, the Democrats are registering non-citizens and dead people to vote.
No wonder they support mail-in voting so strongly.
Among those registered to vote for the Democrats were Strom Thurmond, Sonny Bono, and Ronald Reagan, along with several million Mexican and Canadian citizens. The Democrats were even sneaky enough to domicile their new voters in swing states that would directly affect the electoral college, such as Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Florida, should they win those states.
Joe Barron explained from beyond the grave,
“Damn it Wobby! They registered me! I mean, I would have voted Democrat anyway if I was here but the least they could have done was ask Susan to host a seance to ask me! She would have been all over it! At least have me vote early and vote often!”
The Democrats have always been known to cheat, lie, and steal their way to election success. The stakes have never been higher than they are right now. The Republican party is working on massive voter verification initiatives, eliminating mail-in ballots entirely, and charging a fee for every vote cast. This will massively tilt the vote in favor of Donald Trump and the Republican party, keeping America great for at least 4 more years.