Liberals will stop at nothing until they have destroyed everything we hold dear. They ruined Roseanne. They forced Bill O’Reilly into retirement. They boycotted Ted Nugent. They even say mean things about American legends like Chuck Norris and Scott Baio.
In keeping with that tradition of intolerance, the liberals in Hollywood have done it again, this time to one of our most cherished institutions: The Dukes of Hazard. According to TV executive Art Tubolls, “Dukes” will reboot in 2021, but with a “bold new look”:
“We’re removing all of the stereotypes. The Duke brothers will be homosexuals played by Jim Parsons and Zachary Quinto. Daisy will be played by Rosie O’Donnel. Boss Hogg will be a woman, portrayed by Cathy Bates, and the General Lee will be a Toyota Prius with a rainbow flag emblem rather than a hateful display of reacism.
“The new show will focus on civil liberties, gun control, equality issues, and the environment.”
“Dukes 2021 – The South Evolves” is set to start production just as soon as the quarantine ends. It will air on Bravo during prime time, with reruns on Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel. The original actors won’t have rolls to play in the show, but they’ve been asked to help coordinate the new PC-0friendly environment.
The show won’t rely on car chases, guns, or explosive archery for thrills. Instead, the sheriff, played by Patton Oswalt, will find himself in humorous situations while training his deputies to not kill black people and Boss Hog will start a food bank that only serves St. Louis style ribs and jalapeno cornbread.
The network says the show has a long way to go, but that there are enough scripts now to run a positive episode on social awareness for at least 3 seasons. Netflix is said to have shown an interest in airing the re-runs as well.
Conservative groups have called for a boycott of the show, stating that the original is a work of art that shouldn’t be changed.