Faced with an American city whose population is now almost fully Muslammic, President Trump has made a bold proposal to ward of any threats to real American citizens. He wants to surround the Michigan city with razor wire and armed military personnel to monitor movement of the residents, a plan that he feels will ward off terrorist activity.
In a lengthy essay, he describes a city filled with brown people with strange customs, like starving themselves one month out of each year and restricting their diet the rest of the time.
“They won’t eat bacon! And so they have the time of Run And Run, where they don’t eat at all for a whole month. This takes away the pain of not eating bacon and fills them with starvation pains instead. Then, when the month is over, they are so grateful to be able to eat – to eat anything – that they don’t think about bacon so much anymore.
At some point, dreams of bacon in a pan fill their dreams again and so they run away. They run and they run and they starve themselves again. That’s why they call their starvation time “Run And Run”. They have to run from bacon!
It’s really quite fascinating. And dumb. And unAmerican. And dangerous.
If someone denies themselves bacon, they’ll get violent. It might take years but it’ll come. Bacon keeps man sane.”
Trump’s plan would see 12 Marines sent to Michigan to guard every exit from the town. Checkpoints will be set up at those points and razor wire fences constructed around its perimeter. It will be locked down.
Sounds good to us.