Biden Nominated for Nobel Prize

UNBELIEVABLE!

It’s been reported over and over that former President Barack Obama won himself a Nobel prize straight out of the box after his election.  The reason?  No one knows.  Perhaps for being the very first socialist illegal to reach that position.

Maybe he got it for nursing Lindsey Graham back to health after a day of the vapors.

Well Obama may be getting some company in his official little club of random people holding a statue for doing nothing.  Sandy Batt, head of the Nobel Nomination NumNums in Oslo announced just yesterday that President Joe Biden has been chosen as a possible recipient for this year’s prize for his outstanding efforts to deal with the Trump Plague pandemic.

Officials admitted the prize consideration is slightly slanted, owing to disgraced President Trump’s incredible public bungling of the viral spread, and his successor doing more simply by caring about it.

Biden’s Executive in Charge of Health and Alligators, Missy Southard, says that the President is honored and humbled to receive the nomination and will continue to try to repair the damage Trump and his cult have done to the country.

“The President is very happy to be honored for actually giving a flying shit where Trump did not.  Vaccinations are going well, the economy is on track to actually come back and not hiccup for a few months like Republicans always desperately achieve.

Frankly, it’s not real hard.  I mean, if everyone who did better than Donald Trump got an award, there would be trophies on every mantle in America. It’s kind of like getting a ribbon in a dog show where every other contestant has half a face and poops on its own head.”

Pictured : Fallis Gunnington’s beloved dog Charley, who…oh. Shit. Welp, that’s tragic.

Along with the recognition and the extreme honor, Biden will receive a monetary prize of one jamillion dollars and a year’s worth of oil changes at the mall.  Just like President Obama, it’s good to get the recognition you truly deserve sometimes.