Thanos Running For President

There’s a new face running for President in 2020 and he’s a force to be reckoned with. His name is Thanos and he’s determined to destroy his competition. 

Running as an independent, Thanos made his official declaration of intent to run today, flanked by his wife, Satya, and his daughter, Boogie.  He stepped up to the stage and began :

“The hardest choices require the strongest wills. You’ve all seen this written on the campaign posters around you. These are the words that guide my life. I am that man of the strongest will. And I have made harder choices than you could possibly imagine.

Like imprisoning my daughter from my first wife in a state of suspended animation after she tried to kill me. That wasn’t easy for me but it had to be done. I still had to torture her for information, you see.

I have in my possession to power to destroy America’s enemies with such ferocity that they will never again be able to cause us harm.

Donald Trump is not a threat to me. I can just snap my fingers and he will cease to exist.

Trunp is a failure.  A loser. I am………..inevitable.”

In a bizarre move, Thanos’ daughter chose this moment in his speech to leap forward and exclaim,”DON’T VOTE FOR HIM! HE’S A MONSTER,” at which point Thanos flung her across the room like a rag doll.

His final words before dismissing the press were chilling :

”She should have chosen her words more carefully. That was another tough decision.”