REVEALED: Chuck Schumer Was Sworn In On Satanic Bible

The truth is right in front of you

At the beginning of each term, whether newly elected or reelected, each member of Congress swears his or her oath of office anew. This is a longstanding tradition used to show each one’s commitment to their post and it does not waver. Most swear on the Holy Bible though this is not technically required. But it does show respect for the office to do so. It shows that the elected intend to conduct themselves and work for the nation with the same Christian morality with which the country was formed.

Sadly, most democrats don’t understand this, largely because of their widespread atheism. Those among them that do use the Good Book do so ironically, laughing as they take their oath. They use pornography, they use Dr Seuss, and now it’s been discovered that Chuck Schumer used the Satanic Bible.

Long hidden from public knowledge, this was just recently revealed by the Congress Master who conducts the oath ceremonies, Lauren Perrine.

“When congressman Schumer said he would be swearing on his personal Bible, we assumed it would be a Holy Bible or a Torah or something. This was definitely not the case. What he pulled out of his valise was something called “The Unholy Bible”, which we discovered to actually be Satanic. And he has reused it with each new term.”

Schumer, it turns out, is a committed servant of Satan and has been his own whole life. And he’s a Congressman of the United States. The country is doomed as long as this blatant evil remains in government.

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