Michelle Obama’s Mom Confirms Law Degree Used to Say ‘Michael’

the truth will make you tate

Michelle Obama’s mother, Marian Robinson, inadvertently admitted in an interview on OAN today that Michelle Obama’s law degree had been altered to read “Michelle Robinson” instead of “Michael Robinson”, the true name listed in the student registry. Mrs. Obama purportedly obtained her “law degree” in 1988 before she married the former president.

Harvard University registrar Sandy Batt was apoplectic about the apparent fraud:

“I have no idea how this could have happened. She either never graduated from Harvard, or she took someone else’s degree and altered the first name. We do have a Michael Robinson listed in our student registry in 1988, but no Michelle Robinson. We will definitely be looking into the matter and take any necessary and appropriate action, including revoking the law degree and any associated licenses.”

Since this publication doesn’t like to report fake news, only satire, we did our due diligence and went through the original 1988 student registry. We were able to find and track down a Michael Robinson via the home address listed in the registry. Reached at his mom’s basement in Cleveland, OH, the now 56-year-old bartender and part-time juggalo told us his story:

“It was 1988 and I was all ready to graduate. Here I was at the graduation ceremony ready to be called on stage, and my name never got called. When they got to the R’s there was a Michelle Robinson, but no Michael. So I never got my degree. She stole it from me. I’ve been stuck paying off almost $200,000 in student loans ever since.”

We can only hope that this horrific travesty will one day be rectified and that justice will be served.

About Watt A Plonker 26 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.