Last Kneeling NFL Player Fired – Freedom Officially Wins

President Trump has just announced on Twitter that the last remaining NFL player that still feels like he should kneel because he hates the troops has been fired:

The news comes just as the NFL announced it has also banned Colin Kaepernick from all of its stadiums and offices for life, making him the second athlete next to Pete Rose to be banished for being stupid.

The player who was fired, Miami Dolphins left middleback Dawarius Malarius, says he’s not going to fight the decision and will instead join Kaepernick’s team for a run at a Congressional seat in 2022:

“We have plans to tear down the racist establishment and rebuild it for the people. Not some of the people…all of the people. We look forward to running for US Rep or maybe even Senator. When we’re done, Congress will be kneeling during the National Anthem next.”

Members of Congress are required to stand and sing every morning at 8:15 AM if they are on the House or Senate floor while the song plays. Typically, all of the Republicans show up but very few Democrats. Not that anyone should be surprised.

White House Director of Information and Propaganda, Art Tubolls, says President Trump couldn’t be more pleased:

“Now we can focus on more important issues like making sure the fans are standing and following the rules. President Trump is a little disappointed that some Americans still think it’s ok to sit in silence while our anthem plays. We’re considering legislation that will make patriotism mandatory in America. That’s how it should be.”

Good for you, Mr. President. God bless us all.

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