Smithfield, one of the nation’s largest pork producers, was forced to close recently due to a major outbreak of some kind among the employees. Since this is America, and patriotic Americans cannot do without their bacon, sausage, hamburgers, and pork chops, this was seen as a victory for the growing U.S. Musslamic population.
Most Musslamics were smart enough to not outwardly celebrate this tragedy, however, their leader Ilhan Omar was loud and obnoxious in her praise of Allah. She had her celebratory hijab on today as she danced through the streets of Washington, shrieking at the top of her lungs, wishing for the demise of all pork processing plants in the country.
Sandy Batt, who was on her way to her essential job as a hairdresser when she witnessed Omar screaming and celebrating, spoke to our own reporter Glenn Stanley.
“I was gobsmacked. I eat bacon 5 times a day and wash it down with some pork soda while listening to Primus so I was in a freaking mood over the whole Smithfield thing.
To top it off, she’s praising some fake god who doesn’t exist because the only god is God and Jesus and they only want to keep America great and the way to do that is with bacon. I can’t even make a good apple pie anymore because I won’t have the bacon grease.
No one should ever celebrate someone else’s misfortune. Just flat out disgusting if you ask me.”
Nothing goes with potatoes like bacon and hamburgers. The evil that has caused this closure must be stopped and the best way to do that is to make sure we keep our Dear Leader, President Trump in office. If it was up to the Democrats, we wouldn’t have any food that the Musslamics don’t want. They don’t care about real Americans.
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