Roberts Confirms Supreme Court Won’t Hear Abortion Challenges

Adding to a week of bad defeats for *President Trump including losing his challenge to the DACA “Dreamer” provisions and his attempted block of a potentially humiliating book release by former national security advisor John Bolton, the Supreme Court, headed by justice John Roberts, has decided to increase the pile of insult that seems personally targeted towards the commander in chief.  The highest court in the land has refused, once and for all, to ever weigh in on any complaint having to do with challenging a woman’s right to her own body.

Roberts seems to have turned on the *President quickly in recent times, referring to him as “a lumbering dumb shitgorilla” to reporters from the national press corps in early February, and caught on private video camera in May, throwing an inflatable recreation of Trump into a garbage can and then repeatedly farting into the container to cheers and laughter in front of a local elementary school.  It certainly seems as if the judge may be harboring a personal dislike of the American leader.

Joe Barron of the Washington BeefQueefer Weekly received a statement from the Top Wapner this morning regarding the decision.

“We’re not having anything to do with a subject that was decided 47 years ago.  There’s no point.  A woman has the final say over the workings of her own body, and abortion isn’t murder.  The blabbering zealots need to come to the final word that America has already decided, which is that the Bible is not a medical textbook.  If these collections of obnoxious God-botherers want to pretend they care about the sanctity of life, they can volunteer in Somalia or dig wells for children to have clean potable water in Peru.  Peter Gabriel did that.  Meanwhile, Phil Collins ate sushi off the tits of some prostitute in a Motel 6 bedroom.  If you want to be so high and mighty, don’t be the Phil Collins.”

In response to the court’s announcement, Trump took to Twitter to label members of SCOTUS “traitors and backstabbers”, even though he appointed one and illegally jammed in another.  Concerned supporters are already having cases of Depends adult diapers delivered to the White House.

*impeached