Since January, 29 Newborns Were Named ‘Antifa’


According to the Bureau of American Statistics, the most popular baby names of the year 2019 were Liam for a boy, and Charlotte for a girl.  Things have already begun to change with the new year, however, and the media’s influence can be seen to be having a huge impact.  As of now, the most popular name climbing that list, used for both male and female newborns is “Antifa”.

Twenty nine children have already been given the name, ranking it so far in the number 5 spot, following “Nancy”, “Bono”,  “Peart”, and “Thanos.”  Some are worried that the popularity of the name is a reflection of the growing acceptance of the Antifa, or anti-fascism movement, among the American population.  To elaborate for many of the furiously ignorant Trump followers who often become alarmed and empty their bowels upon hearing the term, a major point of pride of the United States is that we are, indeed, opposed to fascism.

Republican congressional candidate Modok Smith, however, has described fascism as : “THE SAUCE THAT MODOK WILL BATHE AMERICA’S FLESH IN WHEN MODOK COMSUMES IT’S HEART!”

History professor and Dinesh D’Souza’s parole officer, Joe Barron, commented on how this growing attitude may affect the impeached President Trump and his election chances:

“This shift may prove to be detrimental to Trump’s reelection.  He is certainly a large supporter of fascist ideals, judging from his many abuses of power.  At some point, after being told a million times that Adolf Hitler was a fascist dictator and not a ‘socialist’ as many of his mentally handicapped supporters like to ejaculate onto social media memes, the portly old coffin shoppers may be forced to accept reality.  At this point, voting for Trump is really the same as slapping a swastika on your forehead and waddling into the beer tent of a Skynrd concert to light dreidels on fire and circle jerk around a bowl of sauerkraut.  I hope that mental picture helps.”

“Ah do have to admit, those tight little goosestepping pants DO give me a case of the vapahs. Oh, mah fuhrer!”

The Antifa movement, which the impeached President is attempting to classify as a “terrorist organization”, is not an organization, nor has it’s involvement at any time resulted in a single death to any American.  It sounds like the future is coming to roll over the Donald’s morbidly obese ballsack like an M1 Abrams driven by 29 pretty pissed off kids.

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