Ocasio-Cortez Proposes Nationwide Motorcycle Ban

NOT SMART SWEETIE.

Junior Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez has made a lot of waves recently with her Green New Deal nonsense and child-like proposals and speeches.  Well, it’s no different this afternoon as the political pixie announced her intention to draft legislation banning motorcycles from use in the United States of America.

Both Clay and Jax Teller take time off from their busy schedule of runnin’ guns, lovin’ women, and threatening Henry Rollins to address the issue.

The Senorita of Socialism threw out all manner of statistics regarding deadly accidents and injuries, relaxed traffic rules and tolls for bikers, as well as a not-so-veiled jab at a core demographic of President Trump’s supporters :

“Besides like, what I just said?  A lot of these like, motorcycle people, okay, they’re like : ‘Ooh, look at me, I’m all old and fat and tough and I voted for Trump and smell like wet dog.’  And I’m supposed to slow my Prius down so you can like, noise pollute past everyone?  I mean some of us have a nail appointment, people.”

Opposing the ban, spokesman and leader of “Bikers For Trump”, Clee Torres, also gave a statement to the press, expressing his, and his organization’s views :

“I don’t know where they found this little girl with the cute little mouth, but ain’t nobody taking away our hogs.  President Trump is the best damn thing to happen to this country since Zima.”

Getting drunk on Zima is kinda like making love to a pillow – I mean, yeah, it works, but you ain’t gonna want to tell anyone about it.

Torres added that Bikers For Trump would hold a protest against the proposal with a million motorcycle convoy in Washington, previous incarnations of which have drawn tens of participants.  Cortez may want to get herself back behind the bar where her little Punky Brewster act can make her some tips.

To join Bikers For Trump, make sure you have a Harley, a meth addiction, and at least two one-eyed children by the same mother.

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