California Governor Bans Gun Shows


Every year, the world-famous Cow Palace venue near San Francisco has hosted one of the largest gun shows in the area, drawing thousands.  Until now.

The show has been banned by liberals, after years of attempts.  Although this ban has nothing whatsoever to do with the governor, and is limited to that one single venue in order to provide room for safely built living space, headlines like the one above will no doubt pop up on sites proffering outrageous stories in order to show the paranoia and extreme gullibility of those Americans most likely to both rub themselves over Trump’s every word, and eat Styrofoam packing peanuts.  Why is Styrofoam capitalized?  Because spell check says so.

The Who infamously played the Cow Palace in 1973, when drummer Keith Moon collapsed from eating horse tranquilizers. Luckily, he was replaced by a local epileptic.

Now this non-existent statewide gun show ban will surely lead to more, experts agree.  Some say it is the first step towards jack-booted hippies going door-to-door collecting firearms and laughing into their sushi.  Others believe the end result is California as a disarmed state, surfing and tech-inventing it’s way along which actually doesn’t sound so bad.  Still others think cancelling a single gun show will lead to a dystopian future in which people will drive around in water trucks with hot chicks being chased by cars that have punk dudes playing thrash guitar on the hoods- which also sounds kind of cool.

“Dude! Just do Operation Mindcrime for the next ten miles! Awesome!”

In short, there doesn’t seem to be a way for cancelling one gun show to end badly.  Win win.

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