Now that President Trump’s trial is over, he can get back to the business of making America great. His first order of business, after writing thank you notes to all of the Republican Senators, is an overhaul of the GOP primaries. As the head of the party and the man with the power of executive action, Trump has decided that enough is enough and it’s time to rid the party of RINOs like Mitt Romney.
According to the Office of Information and Propaganda, the changes to the primaries are necessary to move the country forward:
“We’ve all seen good people lose their seats in Congress not to the Democrats, but to other ‘Republicans.’ These people are only in it for themselves, without any regard for how the party power structure has to be maintained moving forward. You can’t have minority rule in this country if your party is fractured.”
The changes will begin with the 2020 primary season and will expand to the Presidential primaries in 2024. The biggest move will be a new requirement that all primary candidates have approval from the President. That would immediately remove people like Romney and John McCain from contention. If you aren’t loyal and faithful to the head of the party, how can you be trusted to help him rule?
The 2024 primaries will see the biggest change. The President himself will choose the two people he deems worthy of taking his office when he decides to leave. Experts are already predicting that the race will be between Don Jr. and Jared Kushner, but that could change. It will be up to the American people to decide which of his choices will take his place.
The RNC has already signed off on the changes. Party spokesman, Art Tubolls, says the primaries will be much simpler this way, so voters aren’t confused with too many choices or fooled by RINOs with their own agenda:
“We expect to see a huge outpouring of support for these changes within the party. President Trump will also be working to change the rules of the Electoral College to assure that states with smaller populations get more delegates. It’s only fair that our rural lands are represented.”
The changes mean we could conceivably have a Trump in office for the better part of the next 30 years, which would be great for the stock market.
God bless President Trump and God bless America’s Republicans.