Eric Trump Bravely Heads To Iran To Fight For His Country

The truth is right in front of you

Zuckerberg conceded: "If I'm in a good mood, I might even buy his mutant son a nice dildo to gnaw on."

Everybody said that he wouldn’t do it. They said that the Trump boys don’t go to war, that they’re spoiled rich kids, that they are fortunate sons who would never be willing to fight for their country. Well, Eric Trump is proving them all wrong.

Citing an overwhelming desire to fight for what is right, Eric Trump appears to be joining the Marines so that he may do his part to eradicate America’s enemies abroad. This is what has been assumed after Eric was spotted at the recruiting office in New York City.

Prevarication Spokesperson for Eric T & Rakim Investment Associates, Larry Lubiner, explained the motivations of the first son….and they’re very noble.

“Eric is well aware that he has lived a life of privilege. He grew up with everything he could ever want, but he has given back. He’s raised money for St. Jude’s and only took small portions to help his own business interests. That’s only right after all. He deserves some financial support for his selfless philanthropic efforts.

So now he is prepared to go to war with his fellow Americans in Iran. He will fight from the board rooms, along with other patriots willing to put their financial will being on the line.

He is taking risks to do this for country and family. Already, he has placed millions of dollars into Lockheed Martin – all the purpose of creating a better life for Americans everywhere. There’s a chance he could lose everything but, for his country, he is willing to take that chance.

This is a story of patriotism that brings tears to my eyes. We should all be like Eric Trump.”

Eric Trump is a shining example to us all. We should all someday be like ET.

About Fired Writer 258 Articles
I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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