It was a tale of social media nightmare. New Orleans police officer Dick Spicoli was innocently surfing Facebook, when he came across an article proposing that Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez mentioned that our military members get “paid too much.” Failing to realize the article was satirical, despite the watermarked image, the satirical subject line, and the myriad of impossibilities and dick jokes in the article itself, the officer, who would obviously not qualify as a detective, shared it on his page and opined that the socialist seniorita needed a “round.” He, and a fellow officer who “liked” the post, Vince Schmekelass were summarily fired.
Luckily for the two gullible gendarmes, President Trump took mercy on them and their right to their opinions, even if they are entrusted to enforce law while supporting racist and violent ideologies. To America’s Most Go-Backest President, their plight was a matter of liberal overreach. A cop is a cop first, and a psychotic second. That’s what counts, patriots.
The two will begin their new jobs at the President’s Mar-a-Lago resort as Chief Security Officers for double their former pay. They will have access to better weapons, more authority, and loads of women after their wives inevitably file for divorces.
It all just goes to show you. When life gives you lemons disguised as apples with a sticker on them that says : “lemons” and you bite into them, it’s President Trump that you can trust to make them into grape soda.