Chewable ‘Gummi’ Marijuana Abortion Pill Approved By FDA


It often seems like the states that legalized marijuana for use have gone overboard on their weeded-out zealotry for the psychotropic plant drug.  Lost is any concern of it’s frequent “gateway” affectation in the giant push to normalize it as some kind of 60s hippie “alternative medicine” or “harmless candy confection.”

Commonly considered the most dangerous candy of all time, black jellybeans, which taste like shit.

As if to illustrate this country’s sad state of liberal stoner affairs, the Food and Drug administration just yesterday, approved RU2B1, a marijuana-infused “gummi” chewable abortion-inducing “medication” for general use and sale.  Although many anti-choice “activists” oppose the Christian-hating drug, it seems their voices fall on “deaf ears” as even the childish tactic of placing objectionable phrasing in “quotation marks” fails in a radical left-wing “atmosphere.”

The medical supplement, developed by Joe and Barron Industries comes into notoriety after it was initially developed and promoted specifically to stop the Trump family from polluting the United State’s gene pool with further severely mutated fungus colonies like the President’s sons.  The political nature of the gummi’s beginnings made it a major news item for nearly 24 hours on popular idiot network OAN.

Some celebrity proponents of the chewy pregnancy ender include celestial bartender Whoopi Goldberg, roundhouse-kicking enthusiast Jason Statham, and former child abortion Scott Baio.  On the opposing side, protesting the FDA’s decision, are molestation supporter Jim Jordan, deceased pizza delivery enthusiast Herman Cain, and star of stage and screen, Spuds McKenzie.

McKenzie has fathered 13 children by 12 mothers, beating the original record set by NWA rapper Eazy-E.

The pill is scheduled to be released by the end of the year in a variety of different flavors and packaging, including a “Sexy Strawberry Six-Pack” to be advertised by the Palin family, and “Oopsie Daisy Orange”, which will be found in vending machines at the end of the bar at hundreds of Applebees locations.  Let’s just hope that the right to choose doesn’t come with empty bags of Funyuns and crazy ideas for “sweet porno-delivering rocket cars.”


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