Countering a movement by the Squad to use Arabic numerals exclusively in the upcoming budget, President Donald Trump has pledged to sign an Executive Order that will ban the usage of these evil numbers across all LVII states and territories.
It’s about time. The former infiltrator into the White House, Barack Hussein Obama, did his best to make the United States an Islamic caliphate.
Because of patriots like you and your generous donations to the Trump campaign, Obama’s dream will be denied even more than Merrick Garland was.
It is expected that the United States will immediately use Roman numerals before a new system is designed, at an expense of trillions of dollars, which will be required to replace all books, electronics, signs, addresses, and everything else that currently uses Arabic numerals.
One particularly upset American is a man who only gave his first name, Reg.
“All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?”
Upon learning of this expense, the President signaled that he would sign another round of tax cuts to pay for it. He is also expected to contact Fed Chairman Art Tubolls to request that more money is printed, once the new plates removing the Arabic numerals have been created, of course.
Fortunately, there are some American icons that don’t need fixing, such as the Star Wars Saga and Wrestlemania. Using Roman numerals also has the benefit of not using fractions or decimals, which should make it much easier for the average tater celebrating this nonsense.
Praise for this order is widespread, from the shores of Alabama all the way to the Mississippi River. As we all know that for the CCL-ish years that the United States has been a country that we do things our way and don’t need any kind of foreign interference affecting what we do!
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