Liberal scam artists trying to make a buck off of counterfeit Trump “Make America Great Again” hats could be faced with serious consequences after a shipment of the fake items tested positive for Coronavirus. According to the head of the CDC’s Merchandise Safety Division, Art Tubolls, the issue isn’t likely to just go away:
“Real MAGA hats are made right here in America by our own people. These cheap knockoffs come directly from China. Not just China, either. They come from Wutan City, the epicenter of the Coronavirus outbreak.
“As of now, we have no way to know how far back the contaminated hats might go. The best thing you can do is look at the tag on your hat and burn it if it was made in China.”
Scientists warn that hats may not even be safe if you’ve had them for years. According to the New England Journal of Medicinal Knowledge and Online Diagnostic Services, the Coronavirus may have been lying dormant for years:
“The Corona virus, or BN1DTF, is only new to humans. The virus itself may have been lying in a state of suspended animation for years or even decades. It could have attached itself to almost anything to survive, including clothing and hats. Clothing all gets washed before it’s imported to the USA, but hats do not.
“Therefore, unfortunately, your MAGA hat may be deadly. Once a virus like this hits the public, it’s counterparts around the world will awaken and begin attacking whatever species shows a weakness. In this case, that species is humans.”
The good news is, you can still save yourself from the possibility of a deadly disease by burning your hat. The Trump campaign has said that anyone showing proof that their hat was made in China and had to be sacrificed will receive a 20 p[ercent off coupon for an authentic American-made version.
Please check your hats, folks. Better safe than sorry!