California Legislature Cancels President’s Day: ‘We Won’t Celebrate Trump’

In an emergency session held illegally on a Sunday, which also happens to be Leonid Stalin’s birthday, the California legislature has voted to cancel President’s Day “until such time as respect has been restored to the White House.” Governor Galvin Newscomb signed the bill into law over lunch at Wahoo’s Fish Taco, where he was meeting with leaders from Mexico about opening more of the border to illegal immigrants.

According to a press release from Newsconb’s office, the bill wasn’t very difficult to pass:

“Today, the California legislature passed the first cancelation of a federal holiday in our nation’s history. After an overwhelming response from a public petition signed by more than 30 million Californians, the elected representatives of our state decided that there was no way we could hols any form of celebration of the Office of the President of the United States while a criminal occupies it.

“The canceled holiday does not mean children would have to go to school or that state offices will be open. We will instead celebrate ‘Immigration Day,’ and offer all of the state’s undocumented workers a free meal and medical checkup with no questions asked.”

The stunt is said to have a cost of nearly $6 billion, which is enough money to fund education in Mississippi for the next 400 years, but they just don’t care. This is what happens when you let communists run a state. They destroy it.

More than a million Trump supporters and a guy who really likes Mike Pence are planning demonstrations at their local In N Out Burger. The chain has announced that red MAGA hats and misspelled signs won’t be welcome inside, but that people are welcome to make spectacles of themselves outside all they like. Counter-protests and groups of people in lawn chairs there to point and laugh are expected to show up as well.

The White House hasn’t tweeted their response yet. We’ll keep you posted.