A new report from the Department of American Protection has shown that in the days prior to the 9/11 terrorist attack on the Twin Towers, several prominent Democrats purchased unique insurance policies from their carriers - “Terrorism Insurance”.
This type of insurance was virtually unheard at that time, as attacks on US soil of that type had been limited to far right wing attacks like the World Trade Center bombing, abortion provider bombings, and a multitude of mass shootings across America which were never labelled as “terrorism”, though they fit the bill. So as far as insurance companies were concerned, terrorist activity in the United States did not yet exist.
Yet Democrats Anita Woody, Dick Handler, Hugh Jardon, Iama Hore, and Hillary Clinton - all of whom had offices in the towers - sought out and obtained special insurance against “terrorist activity harming their properties on domestic soil”. As a result, they suffered no financial losses after the planes flew into, and ultimately destroyed, each of the office towers on that fateful day.
Asked for comment, the Democratic National Committee had this to say to DAP:
“Our members had seen the destructive relationships President Bush had been creating with the Middle Eastern world and saw the writing on the wall. They simply ‘had a hunch’ that something bad was on the horizon and they acted.
Don’t blame them for being smart. You’re just jealous that you didn’t protect your own butts.
There’s nothing nefarious going on here. Just more proof that democrats are the smartest amongst all Americans.”
President Trump has ordered AG Barr to officially investigate this fictional event. A total lack of evidence showing criminality or knowledge of the attacks will inevitably follow. It’s about time.
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