Clint Eastwood Traded $10M Jobs For His Kids For One Bloomberg Endorsement

Clint Eastwood’s disappointing reversal of support for President Trump sent immediate shock waves through conservative politics. The shame was felt far and wide when a man who many of us believed to be the guy from Torino turned out to be a Democrat loving traitor.

The story goes much deeper than that, my friends. An Eastwood insider told a pal that Clint has brokered $10 million jobs for three of his eleven children. According to that source’s own source, Eastwood is worried that he doesn’t have enough money to leave all of his children anything, as he’s lived at least 4 years too long already — according to a financial advisor.

The three Eastwoods, Patty Sue, Sandra Dee, and Joba Rone, will all start working for the Bloomberg Corporation this spring after Bloomberg secures the nomination. Clint himself is said to be under contract to join the campaign and stump for the lil’ guy right up to the Democratic National Convention. Bloomberg’s Communications and Propaganda Director. Art Tubolls, says the Mayor made a brilliant tactical move here:

“Clint Eastwood will bring in millions of older white men who are on the fence about losing the openly non-PC world Trump has built. Our pollsters are hearing that men on the cusp of being Boomers are more likely to abandon Trump if they have a hero who was brave enough to talk to an empty chair for 6 minutes. And sure, the Torino thing works. That guy was a racist and hated pretty indiscriminately, but…he made you like him because he had the capacity to care for a child.

“Color me silly, but I’ll take that demographic all day every day.”

President Trump is sure to deal with this in his own way by Tweeting insults about the iconic actor and alienating all of his fans That may not only cost him the White House, it may also force Democrats to hold their nose while they vote for the Republican Mayor from New York, because to them, a lump of fresh dog turd would make a better President than Trump.

The whole situation is messed up.

Be the first to comment