AG Barr to Indict Chrissy Teigan

See You Next Tuesday!

Chrissy Teigan, proud Trump hater, has finally got the attention of United States Attorney General William Barr, who is expected to announce that he will indict her next Tuesday.

Citing McCarthy era laws about un-American activity, he had a long list of times that Ms. Teigan was mean to our great President. Recently, according to sources close to the President, she made him cry. That was the last straw.

Mr. Barr has been unflappable in his support of the President, wanting to ensure absolute loyalty, as some of Trump’s peers like Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin have. As Ms. Teigan is a liberal hero for her ability to effortlessly use her Twitter account to tear down Donald Trump, she will be made an example.

An excerpt of Barr’s statement reads as follows:

“Ms. Teigan’s crimes are many. She uses her Twitter account to attack the President. She called him a p—y a– b—- once. She went after his daughter Ivanka with this totally uncalled for tweet: ‘after we quote pack unquote sandwiches can we please have Covid tests’. Treasonous!

What happened to leaving a President’s children out of it? You can bet she was offended by patriots going after Obama’s kids!

You don’t see her attack the liberals. Ridiculous! But we’re gonna get her. She’s a liberal socialist communist and we’re gonna throw the entire McCarthy book of patriotism at her!”

Predictably, Chrissy Teigan and her whipped husband John Legend laughed it all off. Through her spokesperson Art Tubolls, Ms. Teigan passed a message on to Mr. Barr. It read simply “See you next Tuesday.”

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