Biden Orders $3600 ‘Urban Subsidy Payments’ For People Living In Cities

Joe Biden says people living in cities should get a payment of $3600 per year to “help cover the costs of urban life.”

According to sources inside the Department of Extrabudgetary Reconciliation Planning, Biden will use his executive privilege to order the Treasury to issue the money either in bitcoin or extra food stamps.

When asked why only “city folk” deserve a subsidy, Biden said rural people just don’t understand the struggle of living urban:

“When you live in the country, all you have to worry about is your mortgage and maybe some bills. In the city, you have to pay for cabs and subways, coffee is $9, and a trip out for lunch is $70.

Living in the city is rough. The people there need help. Let’s not forget that the inner-city is included, which the CBO says will lift tens of thousands of families in every state out of poverty.

It will be wonderful. The suburbs and rural areas can expect an influx of diversity. America will finally truly integrate.”

The payments are set to begin immediately. To pay for it, Biden says they’ll probably have to lower social security payments by about $120 a month.

He says “real Americans will be happy to sacrifice a few bucks to support those less privileged as well as those expected to pay such high prices for their privilege. It’s a win-win.

I don’t know, patriots. It sounds a little suspect to me, but then again, so does all this stuff I make up.

God Bless America.