London Mayor Khan Calls For Knife Ban After Latest Terror Attack

The truth is right in front of you

Yet another terror attack in England involving a knife wielding maniac going on a homicidal rampage on the streets of London. Two dead, more injured, all as a result of a common household carving knife. It seems like a crime that would be impossible to stop. After all knives are everywhere and have a multitude of uses in our everyday lives. They are indispensable.

But London Mayor Sadiq Khan doesn’t see it that way. Khan has announced that “decisive action is being taken to prevent future attacks of this type.” Details are in the following press release:

“These terrorists can’t get the guns they want here because of our sensible laws so they use knives. This must be disappointing to them as they can’t senselessly kill as many innocent people as they would with a firearm.

That we are able to save so many lives by preventing guns from getting into their hands is proof that our gun control measures work. They think they are still beating us by using these sharp, common household utensils. Well I’ve got news for them. Just as our gun bans work so effectively, so will the new ban that the city of London will be bringing in….on knives.

In the coming weeks, legislation will be passed to outlaw knives in our fair city. This will include everything from a carving knife to a pocket knife to a butter knife. All will be gone if they are made of metal. Citizens will still have the option of using plastic for their cutting needs or they can do as our ancestors did and use their teeth. The human body is equipped to handle the limited roles that knives play in a modern city.

We will not let the terrorists win. If you want to start messing around with forks, I’ll take those too. Just try me.”

Gun control opponents have often joked about banning knives as some nations do guns, pointing out how ludicrous it would be. Nobody ever thought it would actually be done. But this is how the liberal mind works. They immediately go to stupidity to solve problems.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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