Fired SDNY Prosecutor Refusing to Leave Has Ties to Deep State, Clintons

The truth is right in front of you

On Friday President Trump and Attorney General William Barr fired the Southern District of New York’s US Attorney Geoffrey Berman. In what has universally been described as an unprecedented act of defiance and subversion of the president, Mr. Berman is refusing to leave his job, claiming the president has no authority to fire him.

Berman had been the most aggressive US Attorney to investigate not only the Trump campaign, but also the president’s family and associates, and even President Trump himself. While this fact alone is in and of itself highly suspicious, new evidence has emerged that shows Mr. Berman has ties to the Deep State and the Clintons and had in fact been acting under their direction.

DOJ spokesman Joe Barron explains:

“Not only was Mr. Berman abusing his prosecutorial powers to pin anything he could on President Trump and his associates, he was actively involved in stymieing ongoing investigations into the deep state, including the Clinton Foundation and the Obamas. For example, he personally interfered in the investigation into the murder of agents McCormick and Hankey, who were about to indict the Clintons when they were killed.

Our internal investigation shows that Mr. Berman was in regular contact with known deep state operatives, in particular a Mr. Cletus von Derpfinger, who owns a kabob shop in the basement of a pizza parlor in DC’s Chinatown District on K Street.

This is the same kabob shop where known Clinton and Obama associates gather to plot against the president. In fact, the term “deep state” was coined because the kabob shop is really, really deep under that pizza parlor. It’s so deep that you have to take four flights of stairs and three elevators to get to it. That’s how deep the deep state is.

It is also rumored to have a tunnel leading the the president’s bunker in the White House, which they use to sneak delicious kabobs laced with laxatives to the bunker buffet. Luckily the president only eats hamberders, but lots of White House personnel have had to make hurried trips to the bathroom. They know the kabobs keep giving them the trots, but they eat them anyway because they’re so delicious. We have solid proof that Mr. Berman bought the laxative himself. It is nothing short of treason.”

It is truly unfathomable that Mr. Berman is able to pull off this stunt. How can one prosecutor not only refuse to resign but also attempt to force the president to spend more time on the potty and get away with it?

About Watt A Plonker 14 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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