A sweep intended to capture an undocumented alien in New York this morning ended in tragedy, with ICE agents resorting to deadly force. With a rising population of anti-Trump sentiment in the country and opposition to his draconian, and some say, Hitler-like immigration policies, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has again, taken the law into her own hands like Jennifer Lopez in that movie where she took the law into her own hands.
According to Pelosi’s Congressional Cease and Desist order, all activity by the Immigration service has been suspended until further notice. There will be no “sweeps”, this weekend. Taco Trucks will roll out with sighs of relief in gutter Spanish, and U-haul parking lots will again be full of wide-eyed day workers looking for their next Senor Dinero. In short, the Speaker has full on crippled America.
Fox News Pelosi Analyst Tara Newhole points out that the Speaker does, in fact, have even more powerful magic powers since the President was impeached for being a ridiculously incompetent dick and criminal shyster:
“Oh, bitch could have done much more than that. If she wants, she could order Trump wrapped in masking tape and put into a Rubbermaid garbage can behind a Pottery Barn. I mean, I’ve heard her mention that one. Yeah, she’s basically the most powerful woman in the world. She might just shut down ICE altogether. What’s he gonna do about it? Cry into his adderall bottle?”
Has Pelosi’s move made America less safe? We’ll just all gave to lock our doors and start watching Telemundo.