Terrorists from the socialist death squad known as “ANTIFA” are on a mission to spread the coronavirus to as many Trump supporters as possible, according to internal reports from the Department of Terroristic Intelligence. These domestic assassins have been engaging in behavior that the medical community is calling “very dangerous, especially to Baby Boomers.”
President Trump has convened a special task force to investigate ways to stop these madmen from accomplishing their mission of “infecting as many Boomers as possible. The task force will be led by Trey Gowdy, who has chosen Art Tubolls as his official spokesperson. Tubolls addressed the press this morning from the North Lawn:
“These people are insane. They intend to put people in harmâ€™s way on purpose. According to their manifesto, they intend to take to the streets in places where the quarantine is working to burn American flags and MAGA hats, hoping that the smoke will carry the virus to Trump supporters doing the right thing and staying home.”
Unfortunately for them, those streets are currently filled with trump supporters opposed to the quarantine, because it would be much easier to just get the virus and move on with their lives than to stay safely indoors. While that might end in tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths, at least they wonâ€™t die at the hands of ANTIFA”
“If our parents and grandparents are going to get sick, we want it to be because we chose to go to their houses and spend time with them, not because terrorists were burning flags in their town. The whole thing is just disgusting.”
Police across the country have been told to be on the lookout for anyone outside being stupid rather than staying home or protesting responsibly. The medical community has tried to say that the protesters are the actual threat, but they obviously donâ€™t watch Trumpâ€™s press briefings where he tells it how it is. Itâ€™s all the Democratâ€™s fault.
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