Attack By Ilhan Omar’s Kids Puts Santa In The ER

The truth is right in front of you

The children of Minnesota Democrat Ilhan Omar behave just as you would expect them to in this holiday season. They have taken the idea of a War in Christmas literally… actually attacking the day’s most beloved icon - Santa Claus.

It happened in the Mall of America in Minneapolis-St. Paul at the shopping center’s “North Pole,” where the kids get their pictures taken on Santa’s lap. Kordoba and Iliad Omar were seen running to the display, possibly cursing and swearing. Upon arrival, they wasted no time.

All the while screaming, “This is a false God. Santa Claus is not real,” the two relentlessly punched, kicked, and tore at the jolly, old elf. “Ho Ho hold on!” he could be heard to say, as he struggled to protect his face from the onslaught.

The beating was so savage that Santa Claus found himself in the emergency room of a local hospital with severe lacerations and a possible concussion. His prognosis was not made clear to the press but the unbelievably gorgeous Dr Satya Martin did release this statement:

“This is not from a beating as far as I tell. The two children claim they were scared of the old man who insisted they sit on his lap. It felt wrong to them and they suspected he was a pervert.

And all that ‘false god’ ranting was from some Christian fundamentalist who was there to ruin the kid’s fun.

Santa was drunk. He fell and hurt himself. That’s all.”

The children take after their mother - anti-Christmas and anti-Christianity. This makes that clear.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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