Arizona’s State GOP Supports Personal Freedom Like True Patriots

For Your Freedom

The dry desert heat and pressure from the liberal elite seem to have finally crumbled the resolve of the Republican members of Arizona’s State Legislature. After many freedom protests at the State Capitol and the #MyBodyMyChoice signs at the protests, several party members realized all at once that they would be total hypocrites if they supported the right to spread a potentially deadly pathogen around but not a woman’s right to choose.

Among those most emotionally impacted was a masked State Representative Dr. Kelly Townsend, who certainly confused poor Art Tubolls.

“So, like, I was looking at all those people out there and was all like they are so loud and I had to ask them why they were so loud and they said they wanted to work and stuff.

You know I’m a Republican so I totally want people to work but they don’t wanna wear the masks and they said it’s my body my choice and then I was all like ‘Oh Em Gee’ cuz that’s what women have been saying too so I guess that if those people over there want to spread a deadly germ then women should be able to have an abortion!  A lot of the other Republicans are with me on this because I’m the smart one!

We’re not hippopotamuses or whatever that word is that says we’re two-faced.  Haha that’s funny!  People only have one face!”

The State of Arizona brought us greats such as Evan Mecham, Barry Goldwater, and Fife Symington. The state’s party has devolved into a festering cesspool of nincompoopery that strongly resembles the Democrats.  The state has been reliably in Donald Trump’s corner, which may be their only hope of salvation.

Let us pray for the safe return of sane Republicans back to the great State of Arizona.