Alabama Governor Forms ‘Uterine Inspection Force’ To Monitor Pregnancies

KEEP ALL THE BABBIES SAFE AGAIN!

Stepping up the fight against a woman’s right to have choices over her own body, Alabama governor Kaye Ivey signed bill AG-2436 today, which will form and fund a “Uterine Inspection Force”, who will be tasked with monitoring each and every active pregnancy within the state to assure that absolutely no instances of abortion, legal or illegal occur.

Finally, Godliness and dignity comes to Government oversight.

The force will consist of 12 monitoring hubs located around the state, complete with facial-recognition technology and fetal-heartbeat detection batteries developed by burgeoning tech start-up Cyberdine Systems.  Pregnant women will be found and monitored by U.I.F. Agents throughout the nine months of their pregnancies at all hours, and alerts will be sounded for any mother straying within 100 yards of an abortion-friendly facility.

All U.I.F. trials will be performed in front of a live audience of Alabama’s most notorious hoarders.

Those found guilty of Conspiracy to Choose can be sentenced by the state of Alabama to large fines and possible jail sentences.

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