New Dem Bill Limits Firearm Ownership to One Per Household


Congressional Democrats led by Speaker Nancy Pelosi are pushing house bill BT-5150, knicknamed the : “One Gun” bill, which would set a national limitation on the ownership of firearms to one per household.  Backed by gun-control advocates, several Senators, and the Association to Potatify America, the bill is causing great amounts of controversy in Washington and has a nearly guaranteed chance of passing in the House.

Senator Lamont Cranston, (D), Colorado, explained why he supports the bill in an interview with Fox News journalist Sam “Calamity” Hannity, illegitimate son of Sean Hannity :

“I don’t see any reason anyone would need more than a single gun in their home.  Americans should understand that John Wick is not going to break into your house to steal your 25-dollar collection of Franklin Mint coins.  I mean, we only have two hands and not many people are ambidextrous.  You only need one hand to shoot.  One hand, one gun.  Think of how much more room you could have in your home, too, without all those damn stinky things taking up space.  Let’s all just relax with the guns.  And as for criminals, that’s why you have police.  They’ll take care of the ciminals, okay?  You’re not Batman.  Batman doesn’t use guns.  So forget that, sure, be Batman.”

Better yet, be Moon Knight. Moon Knight is actually way more bad-ass.

Celebrity Congresswoman and Siren of Socialism Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez is also a vocal proponent of the bill.  She describes the legislation as : “a really good start at what we hope to achieve to keep Americans safe in America.”  She declined to speak to the press any longer, citing a desperate need for a Jamba Juice and some tofu sliders.

This photo shows, without any doubt, that this is the best Congress EVER.

Senator Mitch McConnell, who was told about the bill while cleaning mold and fungus from the insides of his cheek and neck-fat wrinkles vowed to stop the bill before it reached the Senate floor.

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