Trump:’No Aid For California Fires Until Sanctuary Cities Are Gone’

The truth is right in front of you

California is burning. It’s been all over the news. God’s wrath is tearing down that state faster than a Slovakian model can tear down her skivvies for a billionaire.

The state is fighting the devastation as best they can with some assistance from neighboring districts, but federal aid has yet to arrive. Governor Newsom addressed this in a speech:

“We, the people of California, the greatest, richest state in the land, have not yet received any help from the United States government to wage war against our most brutal enemy, Acts of God.

We pay and pay into the American coffers and get increasingly less in return. Mr Trump, without our money, America would be ruined. We demand our due in help to fight this danger immediately.

This I decree.”

President Trump and the White House were quick to respond:

“California has more homeless and more welfare users than any other state in this or any other country. They are a train wreck and get what they brought on themselves.

That said Gavin, I’ll be happy to release some emergency funds to you! All you have to do is get rid of all your sanctuary cities that are keeping unwanted criminals and drug dealers and murderers and rapists and farm and construction workers in our country! They are destroying us and America doesn’t want them.

When sanctuary cities go, the fires will fade. This is the message from God Himself!”

Whether Newsom and the identified cities choose to comply in order to save themselves remains to be seen, but this deal is sound. America will run to help their friends, but those who harbour criminals do not fit in that category.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.