Tips For Citizens To Help MAGA Now Available In Trump’s ‘MAGA Handbook’

The Truth Is Right In Front Of You

President Trump is making America great again. In his short time in the White House he has already caused a greatening never before seen in American history. Jobs are up, unemployment down, and Americans are living in harmony.

As perfect a job as Trump has done, he can’t do it all on his own. We all need to chip in to increase the greatness-to-miserable-failure ratio so that future generations will continue to bask in the glory of this administration.

That’s why the White House is set to release “The MAGA Handbook.” The red leather bound volume will contain an array of tips and instructions for patriotic citizens to follow in order to do their part to strengthen our nation until it achieves maximum greatness. It will only be available in physical form so as not to allow liberal trolls the opportunity to sully it in digital, online format.

A preliminary read reveals much wisdom that has been relayed to MAGA Nation from the President himself, as well as from his wives Melania and Ivanka, and from others in his immediate and extended family. These include:

  • Convince all black people in your circle to pose for pictures with Maga hats on, then post those pictures everywhere
  • Respond to any liberal opposition by making some sort of reference to the dissenter living in the basement of their mother’s home. For example:'”Why don’t you get a job and get out of mommy’s basement?” or “Isn’t your mommy calling you up from the basement for dinner?”
  • Type ‘fake news’ at least 20x per day.
  • Be mean to the poor. Do your best to convince others that doing so will magically lift them out of poverty and make their lives perfect.
  • Call any women with opinions against President Trump “whores.” If they are women of colour who oppose the president, alternate this with calling them “men.”
  • Loudly proclaim that anyone who disagrees with the Maga Plan is “a paid protester” or is “on Soros’ payroll.” Occasionally sprinkle in that they are “Antifa terrorists.”
  • In response to virtually any anti-Trump plan argument, simply say, “The Dems hate (insert non-equivalent issue here), but killing babies is ok!”

This book is incredible! The above are just a few of the hundreds of proven techniques that will build a greater America. Pick up your copy today!

About Fired Writer 258 Articles
I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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