N.Y. Man Files Federal Suit to Remove ‘So Help You God’ From Courtroom Oath


“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”

No, not Neil Peart. The other God.

Since the dawn of the American justice system, this oath has served as the sacred swearing-in phrase in courtroom trials, ensuring by the strongest power possible, God, that one would be truthful in his or her statements.  New York attorney Jeffrey Luxembagger would like that to change.

“There is no reason, in our country which separates church and state, that we should be subjected to swearing anything to any ‘God’ in any legal matter.  It’s insulting, ignorant, and frankly, obsolete.  Nobody sane is religious nowadays.”

Luxembagger has filed suit in Federal court to have the “so help you God” section permanently removed and replaced with : “under penalty of atomic wedgie”, a process in which one’s underpants are yanked upwards until the individual is physically lifted from the ground, which Luxembagger claims is far more threatening than the ire of an : “invisible boogeyman in the sky.”  His case has the backing of the ACLU as well as Fruit of the Loom manufacturer, Hanes.

“If this gets to the Supreme Court, I am gonna get wasted and hump it to death.”

Is this another attempt by a liberal to turn America into a Godless nightmare like Obama tried to do for nearly a decade?  Or, is this man on to something?  All we can do is pray.

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