ANTIFA protesters have been wandering the streets of our cities, causing mayhem, destruction, and fear everywhere they go. Even the dopey Democrats know that they cannot openly back these monsters’ actions. Unfortunately for Americans, they appear to have found a back door to pitch in.
It has been no secret that the average ANTIFA member is jobless and lives off of spaghetti and Hot Pockets, existing mostly in their parents’ basements and watching badly dubbed Ultraman reruns. It is hard to believe that they have managed to maintain their supplies for the past few years.
Sources close to ANTIFA leader Clipper J. Notail have said that the movement is nearly out of money and supplies. Without jobs, there is clearly no way to continue the movement without assistance. Mr. Notail has already resorted to stealing rope, assorted pieces of metal, and an empty jar.
Enter the Democrats.
Democrat Senator Joe Barron and his state’s RINO Senator are proposing a vacation voucher program that will reimburse Americans for traveling on vacation over the next few months. The goal is to ensure that as many houses are empty as possible to mitigate the possibility of anyone getting hurt by these invaders. It was a very clever idea but not clever enough.
The hero who exposed this plot is some fear-mongering nobody who can’t even say “contact tracing” that is running for Senate. If it was not for him and his 14 paranoid followers who will believe absolutely anything, nobody would have even thought about this.
Drain the swamp and vote for the reddest reddy red Republicans you can find this November. Keep our homes safe!