President Trump: “I Will Pay For July 4 Parade Out Of My Own Pocket”

The truth is right in front of you

The liberal press hasn’t been able to stop talking about the price tag of the July 4 extravaganza that will be hosted by President Trump in and around the National Mall tomorrow. All that’s been heard from them is “Boo hoo! $90 million. Taxpayers on the hook. Blah blah blah”. Not once have they taken the time to marvel at and thank our President for putting together the greatest celebration of our nation’s independence ever seen.

But now they can stop their crying. In an announcement that came as a surprise only to the democrats, the White House tells us that President Trump will pay the full price tag for the event out of his own pocket. Trump himself gave the good news :

“$100 million. That’s a lot of money. But it’s a special event. We are celebrating winning the war with Canada. Which we won, by the way. No expense should be spared to remember that. It was good.

But it is a lot of money and I’m told that people are complaining. Not the real Americans but other people. The haters. Regardless, I’m here to tell you that the entire $100 million bill will be paid by me. And by me, I mean America. Cuz I’m America. I’m the president!

Trump’s parade cheque. Oops. That’s his reimbursement to Cohen. Oh well. It looks like that anyway.

Hmmm. $100 million bill. Could i get my face on that? I think I deserve it. Let’s set that up.”

Take that liberals. Our President takes care of us. He’s as selfless as they come.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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