Massive Cocaine Bust At Mexican Border

The truth is right in front of you

The DEA today managed a massive cocaine bust at the Southern border, the largest in America history. 156 megatons of the drug were seized (pictured above) in what many are saying is “a sign of things to come” meaning that we have had enough of cartels poisoning our kids and we’re not going to take it anymore.

Efforts are being made by President Trump to curtail the huge amounts of illicit drugs entering America from Mexico. The President seized the news of this bust – codenamed “Operation Polar Bear In A Snowstorm” – to bring up a familiar topic :

“THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE WALL!

Drugs! Megatons of the stuff! And it always comes by land over that border! That rotten border! It makes me so mad. You have no idea how mad it makes me. But it’s plenty mad, let me tell you. Mad. Me.

Excessive cocaine use leads to “cocaine blindness”. This is what the afflicted see.

If we’d had THE WALL, this bust never would have happened. Oh! A bust, I’m told, is a seizure with arrests. NOBODY KNEW THIS!  That makes much more sense than what i was thinking. When they told me there was a bust, I jumped up from my desk asking,’Where? Blonde? Brunette? Redhead? Is she a DEA agent?’

But it wasn’t a broad. But it’s almost as good.

Who even does cocaine anymore? I mean, it was fine in the 70’s. I could tell you some stories.  Ha ha ha!”

The next two hours were filled with wondrous tales of the Playboy Mansion and the NY club scene. He was still going on when we walked out. That man sure has lived. That’s my President.

About Fired Writer 258 Articles
I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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