Barron Trump is being bullied at school, according to a close confidant of the First Family.
Though they wished to remain anonymous, Melania’s friend reports that Baron is relentlessly bullied by faculty and students alike at St. Andrew’s Episcopal. After famously shunning Sidewell Friends’ school for fear of bullying from the still-attending Sasha Obama, Melania had hoped that St. Andrew’s would be an oasis for her precious little boy’s school days.
“He cry!” The First Lady is reported to have vented to her friend. “He come home, he say to me, “Mama, teachers give me F, boy laugh at me, he call me potato head.” I say, what is this potato head? He said, “is toy. They call me toy, Mama!” Melania hate this school, want to see teachers’ birth certificate!”
“Clearly, Melania is very upset,” our source elaborated. “She takes Barron’s schooling very seriously.”
When pressed about the form of bullying taking place, our source cited that the Religions professor had recently done a segment on mortal and cardinal sins.
“She spent an inordinate amount of time discussing avarice, lying, lust, and adultery. Baron and his mother feel that this unit shouldn’t be so heavily stressed as it is a clear dig at Baron’s father.”
Religion isn’t Baron’s only bane. So is Civics.
“The Civics teacher libtard!” Melania is reported to have sobbed. “He says Donald Impeached, he teach class on Nixon and Clinton and my husband! He make Baron cry, he say “is just history now,” he libtard, Melania hates him!”
Allegedly, children have also taken to misspelling Barron’s name as “Baron,” which is also clear harassment and a potential hate crime, according to the First Lady and First Son.
To combat this, our source says that the First Lady is considering putting a bug in her husband’s ear about abolishing these lessons going forward, saying they are bullying her child and therefore, “Not Be Best.”
Our thoughts and prayers are with Barron and Melania during this trying time.