Federal Court Rules Pelosi Not a Legal CA Resident, Overturning Her Election


A federal court in San Francisco today ruled that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, whose district is in the city, is not legally a resident of the state of California. A citizen living in her district had filed a petition early last year, challenging her residency status.

The court found that because Mrs. Pelosi spends more time at her multi-million dollar vacation home on the Chesapeake Bay than she does in San Francisco helping her constituents, she is legally a resident of Virginia, not California.

The ruling has significant ramifications for the Speaker, who now faces not only losing the speakership but expulsion from the House altogether. Her removal is sure to create a Democratic leadership vacuum in the House and wreak havoc on the Democratic political agenda.

San Francisco resident and Trump supporter Art Tubolls, who filed the petition, felt vindicated:

“All of us here in San Francisco have long known that Nancy Pelosi doesn’t care about us. She’s never here. We’re lucky if she graces us with her presence at Christmas and Easter. No wonder this city has gone to hell ever since she got elected.. We need someone to represent us, not someone who is more interested in being on vacation.”

Pelosi spokesperson Sandy Batt denied the accusation:

“Nancy Pelosi cares very much about her constituents. Just because she cares about them while staying in her vacation home does not mean she doesn’t care about them in California. Every time she’s on her yacht on the Chesapeake she’s on the phone, making calls to her hairdresser in San Francisco. To say she’s not a California resident is an outrage!”

It remains to be seen whether this obviously made-up story makes the rounds among the taters. So, while we’re all waiting, let’s bake a cake!

About Watt A Plonker 14 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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