In what appears to be a breakthrough, investigators working for Attorney General Bill Barr have discovered a listening device inside the Donald Trump White House that appears to undeniably implicate former President Barack Obama of illegally spying. The bugging device was clearly labelled and was operating when it was found hidden in a potted plant exactly like something out of a 70’s spy movie.
President Trump originally accused his lesser predecessor of the crime long ago, but was loathe to be taken seriously due to his habit of simply making shit up out of thin air to suit his desperate need for attention through victimhood. But Barr, who has a history of being more crooked than an Alabaman family tree is pretending to follow-up on the claim in order to appease a dwindling legion of Trump’s voters stupid enough to believe such nonsense and drunkenly scream about it tomorrow at a bar that serves beer in the can.
Lead investigator, Harry Azcrax, eplained the find to the Washington Daily Queeforcist :
“Clearly, it’s a very small bugging device, less than an inch long. It was still operating. You can see the former President’s name directly on the side of it. I think that’s pretty cut-and-dry. We found it in a plant. That’s not in any way doctored. Mr. Barr directed me and the boys to conduct a search, and that’s what we did. We absolutely didn’t come up with this plan and then head off to Dave and Busters to play ski-ball for three hours and eat cheesy fries. If we had done that, I would have beat Agent Parker hands down with my perfect strategy of angling the ball about halfway down the right side to deflect it into the 40 or 50 point hole. I’m like the Tiger Woods of ski-ball.”
With the device located, a more thorough search will be conducted for more. Investigators have been instructed to find some way, any way, to find further connections to Hillary Clinton, because that would even further embolden the teabagging brain-damaged Trump worms on their Facebook pages.