Official: Shakira’s Halftime Performance ‘Wink to Lesbian Roots’

As if the Super Bowl halftime show wasn’t bad enough with the Cuban flag being paraded around, more information has come out about hidden messages in the 20-minute grind fest.

People close to Shakira and her wife, Ellen, say the weird tongue thing she did was actually a “wink to her lesbian roots.” In a joint statement with LGBTQ Youth United and Shakira’s neighbor’s best friend, the source said:

“Shakira is committed to pushing the agenda of love and tolerance upon anyone who listens to her music. She included the ‘tongue whisper’ as a dog whistle to all of the gay and lesbian boys and girls watching the Super Bowl. She comes from a long line of lesbians and just wants to make sure her roots are represented in her art.”

“Tongue whisper!” Most people watched the moment in horror and disgust. None of us knew exactly what it meant, but we just knew it felt wrong. Well, that’s because it was wrong!

It’s also been said if you listen to a recording of the halftime show backward, there are secret satanic messages.

And, that just seems fitting. This is worse than the time Katy Perry performed her Illuminati songs, or when Lady Gaga was satanic and we all had to change the channel during that half time.

The NFL is going downhill fast. First without taking a strong enough stance against anthem kneeling, and now this! They are ruining our favorite pass time and we need to take a stand!

For God and country, a full NFL boycott is in effect until September 10, 2020.

Take that, NFL!

About Norbert Heck 13 Articles
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

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