Chief Justice Admits:’Obama Never Swore on a Bible’

At Obama’s swearing-in ceremony in 2017, he and all the others in the room swore up and down that the he had used Bibles for the ceremony. Not a bible, singular, but two Bibles - Abraham Lincoln’s and Martin Luther King’s. Using two seemed a little ‘over the top’ to many observers. He seemed to be trying too hard, like he was hiding something.

It was rumored that he was not sworn in on a Bible at all, but on the book of his actual religion, the Curan. This was confirmed as a result of our persistent inquiries to Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, who performed the ceremony. Justice Roberts stuck with the official story at first, but we were relentless. Finally, he gave up the truth after realizing we would never stop and that restraining orders mean nothing to us.

“Yes, ok, you’re right. Obama was not sworn in on the bible. I didn’t realize it at the time, not until afterward. It shocked me and my face must have shown it because when I did see it, Obama glared at me and his eyes had a threatening look to them. I couldn’t say anything after we’d already completed the ceremony and he knew it.

Later that day, the meaning behind his eyes was confirmed. He told me he’d tell the world that I knew he didn’t use a bible if I let his secret out. He had me. If America knew, I’d be ruined. My career, my family, everything. It would all be gone.

I don’t care what happens to me anymore. Just nullify that sob’s presidency. He didn’t deserve it.”

This is the confirmation of what we all knew but couldn’t prove. Obama’s time as president was a sham from the beginning.