Nike Cancels Ivanka Speech After Kaepernick Intervenes

The truth is right in front of you

Ivanka Trump is beautiful, charismatic, intelligent, and extremely successful. As such, she is highly sought after for speaking engagements of the motivational variety. Her insights into the business world are invaluable, especially considering her enormous personal successes in that realm. Corporations around the world have been booking her to teach their people how to win.

Nike was one of those companies. They had scheduled her to give a motivational workshop to their executive employees later this month, with 600 due to attend.

Earlier this week, the company abruptly cancelled the event. The reason? Nike spokesperson Colin Kaepernick threw a tantrum.

Kaepernick, upon hearing of the engagement, reportedly had a tantrum at the corporate offices of Nike. He stamped his feet and pounded his fists, and threatened to abandon his much publicized role at the company unless the session was cancelled.

CEO Dan Russell explained Nike’s decision to cave in to Kaepernick’s demands :

“Colin means everything to us. Back when he came to us begging for a job, we were reluctant. He seemed to be poison.

But Colin flashed that winning smile and promised us that not only would his hiring not hurt us, but it would actually make us prosper. And boy, did he deliver! Record sales and record stock price right away! We love Colin!

So when he asked us to cancel Ivanka, it was a no-brainer. Of course we would. Anything to help our lucky charm. Especially after he threatened to walk out AND put a curse on us. His voodoo made us big. There’s no doubt it could also destroy.

To hell with Ivanka! We don’t need her! We have Colin!”

Kaepernick dressed to intimidate when approaching Nike execs

Why can’t Kaepernick just love our First Family like the rest of the country? And why can’t Nike man-up and tell him where to go? With our country on the brink of war, President Trump needs all the support he can get.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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